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A birthday cake? You shouldn’t have…
Check it out, my fellow inebriates…my belated birthday cake. Well, not just mine. I had two co-celebrants: a poodle and a chihuahua. Note (if you can make it out) the doggie candles. It seems we had no...
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The DIY dream…almost a reality! (OMG!)
OMG, my fellow inebriates! As you know, my parents don’t always come through for me. But today….Today was another story. When Mum came home with cream, chocolate, and other Martha Stewart–style...
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Our own Irish (well, actually Canadian) Cream—at one-third the price of...
Check it out, my fellow inebriates. With roughly $33 worth of simple ingredients, we’re going to make almost 3 litres of dreamy Irish Canadian cream liqueur. Yes! Okay, so typically we wouldn’t get all...
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Balls!
My Fellow Inebriates, Our Canadian Cream is almost ready for consumption. Not that we haven’t had a small sip already, but at the end of this week it should be as good as it’s going to get—i.e., ready...
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CANADIAN CREAM—Empty somehow without Glen
My Fellow Inebriates, Glen Bear has still not materialized anywhere at LBHQ. Last night Blackie and I had a good cry about it while Fluffy observed us emotionlessly and Scarybear attacked a plate of...
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How Hanukkah Harry hasn’t helped us delay gratification
My Fellow Inebriates, Surrounded by Gentiles in Langley, Canada, I almost forgot that today is the start of Hanukkah. My Jewish uncle (who wraps the best-looking Christmas packages in the whole family)...
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Bring on the rancid meat and boozicles
What the hell does this mean, my fellow inebriates? Fresh part only? OMG, what can that possibly mean? Is there a section of the store where you can buy the rancid part? The putrid part? Because maybe...
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Blackberries are over? Damn you, global warming!
Looks like we’re not the only freegans in Langley. Mum and Miss V went blackberry picking the other day and found the bushes stripped of fruit. What remained was shriveled or festooned with spider...
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CANADIAN KAHLUA—Doomed by Hershey’s!
OPEN LETTER TO HERSHEY’S CANADA Dear Hershey’s, Last year I made my very own cream liqueur, combining full cream, cheap Canadian rye whisky, and melted Hershey’s Chipits. The recipe was a grand...
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Yes, Miss V, you can make Jell-O
My Fellow Inebriates, At least a dozen times a day Miss V asks if we can make Jell-O. My parents, who are lazy, usually say something like “Sure, in a little while,” then wait for her to scamper off on...
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